


Go Visit Your Shitty Goblin Dad

by GnohomasWitness



Category: Runescape (Video Games)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 02:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GnohomasWitness/pseuds/GnohomasWitness
Summary: Takes place during Another Slice of H.A.M.Adam visits his adoptive father for the first time since running away from home.





	Go Visit Your Shitty Goblin Dad

Adam stepped into the small hut and climbed down the ladder to the goblin village kitchen. It was just as dark and miserable as he remembered it being. Adam squinted in the dark and looked around as he crept further into the filthy kitchen. Something moved in the dark, Adam knew who it was a soon as he saw the chef’s hat.

“Hello, Mudknuckles.” Adam hissed from the corner of his mouth.

Startled by the sudden mention of his name, Mudknuckles flinched, knocking over a pile of pots and pans. They crashed onto the stone floor. “Who in the world?” The goblin cook was still a shadow before he scurried into Adam’s view. He stopped in awe when he got a good look at the giant in front of him. “I was wondering when you were gonna visit!” Mudknuckles snarked.

“You never wondered about me.” Adam hissed. His eyes beat down on the cook.

“Same old human boy, always angry when there’s no need to be.” Mudknuckles scoffed as he held out his hands. “I’ve heard all about you and your adventures. It’s good to see you again, boy!” He walked toward Adam with open arms.

Adam grabbed his crossbow from his back and pointed it at the goblin cook in a single motion. “Don’t you dare hit me again!” He barked.

Mudknuckles showed no fear. He only sneered, examining the crossbow. “Interesting contraption, boy. What is it?” He looked up at the man. Their eyes met.

“It’ll be the last thing you ever see if you even think about laying a hand on me, you greasy son of a bitch!” Adam hissed. All the hatred in the world burned in Adam's eyes, though it seemed Mudknuckles couldn’t sense it, or maybe he just didn’t care.

The goblin cook kept his arms outstretched. “I only want a hug, I missed having you around.”

Adam didn’t lower the crossbow, but his fury began to fade. “You never hugged me back then…” He muttered.

“You were just an angry little twerp back then! Not worthy of my respect. But now you’re a big, mean, fuck ugly bastard! And a legend at that! Come here Kananga, I’m proud to call you my son!” He stepped closer, arms still outstretched, ready to hug his grown-up human boy.

Charmed by the goblin, Adam lowered the crossbow. With his defenses down, he went in for the hug.

Adam was met with a harsh slap to the face from Mudknuckles.

The goblin cook let out a wicked laugh. “You’re the same over-trusting idiot you always were!” He cackled as he walked back toward the pile of pots and pans on the floor. “Goblins don’t love! Love is weak! Did those monks make you stupider or what? Undoing my good work, they were! You’re still a little self-righteous piece of shit!”

The feeling of the slap rippled though Adam’s whole body. All the anger, sadness and pain from every beating he had ever received came rushing back to him. Without thought, Adam charged at the goblin. He grabbed Mudknuckles by his thin twig of a neck. The fury in his heart burned like a forest fire as he looked the goblin straight in the eyes. Adam’s teeth clenched, he tightened his grip on the goblin’s neck. He was so mad he could barely see straight.

Mudknuckles winced as he watched Adam raise his other hand in a fist ready to punch him out. He was helpless against the giant man.

Suddenly a cute female goblin voice echoed from the room above. Adam stopped short of hitting his adoptive father.

“Adam! The generals are ready to meet with us! Are you done what you were doing in there? Come on up, I’m excited to meet them!” The female goblin called down.

“Be there in a minute!” Adam called up with a crack in his voice. The rage subsiding, he looked at the quivering Mudknuckles. Adam sighed and let him go.

Mudknuckes fell backwards into his pile of pans. He said nothing. He knew that he couldn’t win against Adam anymore. The goblin cook simply looked up at his adopted son, now grown up. He watched from the pile of pans as Adam climbed up the ladder and out of sight.

Adam opened the trap door at the top of the ladder and was greeted by a smiling cave goblin.

“What was that down there? I heard crashing.” Zanik asked.

Adam reached for his cigar box, but remembered it was empty. “Nothing important…” He said with a smile.

“Well come on, let’s meet the generals!” Zanik exclaimed as she grabbed Adam’s hand and tried to tow him along.

Adam stayed put and instead pulled Zanik back into the hut. “Come here for a minute.” Adam muttered. Then he kissed her on the lips.

Zanik closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him.

As he continued to kiss her. Adam thought to himself. After a goblin had taught Adam how to hate, it took another goblin to teach him how to love.

 


End file.
